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This is a problem I constantly run into on machines running sp3. The situation runs like this:

New or old xp install, pro, standard, tablet, doesn’t matter. You update to sp3, you reboot. Windows hangs at the loading bar forever and refuses to boot if you have any usb or firewire drives attached, sometimes even USB memory sticks or SD cards.

Find out how to fix it after the jump.

MS likes to keep this issue quiet, trying to play like they are talking with users and trying to figure out the issue, asking for registry files from the users so they can ‘track the issue down’, but I’m going to call bullshit on that because this issue is insanely easy to fix, they should have really no problem looking at version X and version Y and going oh, here is fix Z, but then that’s MS, and fuck they made vista and balmer is on crack or something, so who the hell knows when they will fix this issue. (If ever, windows 7 is the next big farce on the way, so woohoo for you being the little guy stuck with XP, right?)

Now I’m going to tell you how to fix this nasty little glitch. I’ll even provide the file for those noobs of you out there who don’t know how to search your disk, or those of you who do stupid shit like respin your install Cd’s and spin sp3 into your disk and never have these fallback files to search for in the first place.

Techno babble mode = off. Do this:

Start button: Run > C:\windows\system32\drivers\

Now click view, and put it on ‘list’ and then click ‘name’ so things are alphabetical.

Start scrolling, you want to find the file called ’sbp2port.sys’ (if you can’t see the .sys’ part, you are a noob, turn on show known extensions under folder options, and while you are at it, turn on show hidden and system files.)

When you find it, right click and select ‘properties’, click the ‘version’ tab.

If the version number reads: 5.1.2600.5512? You have shitty sp3 MS driver syndrome, and you are going to die.

Now here is how to fix it. first, the obvious path, just throw the file name ’sbp2port.sys’ into windows search, point it at your C: drive and go have a twinkie/beer/blowjob while you wait, you go-getter you.

If you installed from an OEM CD and downloaded your service packs like normal people, you probably have a liberal crapton of that file all over the place of various versions.

Start checking the version numbers like above until you find one that reads ‘5.1.2600.2180′, the problem is, sometimes windows doesn’t effing save this file like it should. But don’t worry, if you don’t find it, i’ll link to a copy of the file at the end of this howto.

Alright, so once you get your hands on version ‘5.1.2600.2180′, go back to your c:\windows\system32\drivers\ folder and make a backup copy of the original file. (I suggest backing it up to the recycle bin)

Once you have it backed up, drop the ‘5.1.2600.2180′ version of the file in its place. You may also want to put it in C:\windows\driver cache\, but for me, it always seems to work just dropping it into system32\drivers, or just \system32 itself.

I could explain why it doesn’t really matter, but you don’t care, you just want windows to work like its supposed to. And now, it should.

Now go reboot and enjoy life without having to turn externals on/off every time you reboot or power up.

This should not effect /anything/ but this bug, we just rolled you back to a sp2 version of the driver, which really has no problems at all, it’s even usb 2.0 compliant and handles firewire devices just fine. In fact, I swear my usb seems to detect faster using the sp2 driver.

oh, and here is the file for you if you need it.